He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
