I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
