Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
