question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
