I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
