it's too hot outside to masturbate.
My hand turned me down
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
