I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
My vagina just recognized that song.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
