I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
