I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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