I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
