Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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