Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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