After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
