So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
