So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She tied me up with her honor cords...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Drunk is not a location!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
