the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Randomize
