if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
