2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
