$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
