used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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