Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
