But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
