I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Every concussion has its silver lining
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
