so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
