gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
