there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
