Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
