i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize