All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Four minutes until I can fart!
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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