just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
