I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize