I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
