Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
