Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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