I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
