Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
