Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize