Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
