my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Do you have feelings for this penis?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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