Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
