I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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