sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
