He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
