I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
