she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
