Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Enjoy the penises
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
