He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
