Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
