What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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