I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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