All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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