we have officially lost it.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
