I'm jealous of your bromance
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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