Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
