"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
