You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
