I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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