Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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