So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
