She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The adults are the big ones right?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
