ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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