i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
