i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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