fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
