people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
